Whatever "social media" was intended to be, in the last few years it seems to have begun an inexorable decline into what it always had to become:
A 24/7, always-on, personalized fear machine.
All you have to do is look into the "black mirror" in your pocket, and you'll see what I mean.
How many scrolls, swipes, or taps does it take to find your first piece of bad news?
While writing this, I decided to run my own experiment.
I started by opening up a new browser (Firefox).
On the homepage, I'm greeted with Firefox's standard homepage settings: a search bar, as well as a list of articles they state are "Recommended by Pocket."
Pocket is a robot.
Here's what Pocket is recommending today:
Sorry Pocket, but after browsing your recommended reading list for the last minute, I think I'm going to need a cold shower, not a free fake farm so I can ignore my real farm.
And if you're thinking "but Tom, that's curated based on what you read. You're the culprit!"
…I opened the browser with a cleared cache, VPN'd, not connected to Pocket.
If I had been connected (signed in and synced up), and if I were playing the game they wanted me to play (engaging with their content; clicking, sharing, liking, whatever), the fear bait would only get more personalized.
But here's the thing:
Even if the fear gets more personalized, it doesn't get any more real.
I'm not saying the crazy rare disease didn't strike; or that the grandmother is just a narrative hook to generate more interest; or that some homes may, in fact, be doomed…
These things might be factual…
…but even if they are, they have no impact in or on your life beyond what you allow.
As in, you have to CONSENT to letting this information into your head, and you have to CONSENT to letting it affect your aim, your attitude, your work, or your life.
But if you don't give consent…if you ignore, delete, simply opt out…all of it vanishes, as if it never existed in the first place.
On the side mirrors of my car there's text that reads:
"Objects in mirror are closer than they appear."
The purpose is to help you avoid a deadly accident by reminding you that what you see…isn't exactly what you're seeing…and to adjust your behavior accordingly.
I think every device with a screen that can access the internet should have its own label:
"Objects on screen are not real and are intentionally designed to spike your cortisol levels."
Don't get caught in the fear trap. It's not real.
What's real is right in front of you; your friends, family, and loved ones, the people you serve, and the meaningful work you do, day in and day out.
Now that you know this, how will you show up?
Stay frosty,
Tom "thoughts" Morkes
p.s. this was originally going to be 3 reasons you should be excited for 2020, with reason #1 being that life is a lot better than it looks online…but I realize I gotta establish some foundational things before I move forward. My interest this year is in taking an ecological approach to marketing and sales, and I'll be using this newsletter to put out new ideas to better codify my thinking. Who knows, it might turn into my next book. Your feedback, questions, and insights are appreciated!! p.p.s. Recently, several people have asked me to help them launch products / set up affiliate marketing campaigns / create and implement referral programs for their brands, etc. Straight up - I don't do project bids. I also don't do 'initial consult' calls. If you want my help, you can book an Accelerator Coaching time block or Lightning Session right here.
Started, finished, and shipped from high up in the Rockies | Writing time: 5 hrs | Soundtrack: silence
When’s the last time you made yourself uncomfortable?
This question isn't rhetorical and it's definitely worth answering (at least to yourself).
Why?
Because your answer is indicative of the life you’re currently living – for better or worse.
So many of us instinctively stick to what we know.
We grow up playing certain sports and we stick with them through high school, college and (if we have just the right amount of luck) into our adult years.
The same goes for musical instruments, languages, hobbies and just about everything else in life.
It’s almost as if after we graduate school and get a job, new experiences vanish.
We become adults and we stick to what we know – to what’s comfortable.
It’s a shame, because sticking to what’s comfortable limits the adventures we’ll have in life.
And adventure is what we need now more than ever in a world where sedentary connectivity is the norm.
The following are 3 life-improving reasons you should go on more adventures.
In an experiment conducted by German researches, 40 mice were put in a large, enriched environment (5 levels of glass chutes, toys, scaffolds, nesting places and more) and monitored over the course of 3 months.
It turns out that the mice who explored more built more new neurons than those who explored less:
“Researchers found that the brains of the most explorative mice were building more new neurons -- a process known as neurogenesis -- in the hippocampus, the center for learning and memory, than the animals that were more passive.” [Article]
Neurons are fundamental for the functioning of the brain and body as a whole.
The more neurons we build, the greater our capacity for motor and sensory development. If we actively build and engage more neurons we can become better at things like reading comprehension, scientific reasoning and mathematics.
Of course, we’re not rats in a cage, so how can we implement this advice?
Simple:
Don’t have the time or means to travel?
The list could go on for days, literally only limited by your creativity (and if you consider yourself lacking creativity, check out my pay-what-you-want guide: Putting On Your Brain Goggles – it will help you invent, design and develop creative ideas)
In any way you can, expose yourself to new experiences.
The more you explore, the smarter you’ll become.
The brain naturally lumps together consistent, similar memories.
This is effective from a storage and functioning standpoint – our brains don’t need superfluous details to function – but it also has drawbacks.
Think about your last year of work or school. What stands out?
How about from middle school or high school? What do you remember?
Chances are the majority of your memories are blurred and dull. The day to day grind fades away over time. What’s left is a general impression of what life was like at the time…an impression that will continue to shift, distort and change over time as you grow older.
So what happened to the details?
The truth is they’re nowhere to be found because most of our days are monotonous, familiar and ordinary.
Under conditions like that, details fade.
Which means if you want to improve your memory – if you want to actually remember the details - you need to change things up.
According to psychology writer Claudia Hammod, you are most likely to remember an event if it is “distinctive, vivid, personally involved and is a tale you have recounted many times since.” [Time Warped: Unlocking the Mysteries of Time Perception]
To create long lasting, detailed memories, focus on these 4 elements of creating a memorable event:
1) Distinctive – how does it differentiate from your day to day grind? Changing up coffee shops is a good start. Taking a day trip to the Bahamas is better. There’s probably a happy medium in there somewhere. Experiment and explore and figure out what’s right for you (but different than you’re used to).
2) Vivid – how many senses are you stimulating? The more senses we can stimulate at one time – and the better we can focus on this stimulation – the more vivid our memories will be. Plus, there’s an added benefit to stimulating things like your sense of smell because it’s directly linked to your memory. And you can make an event vivid without artificial sense stimulants (beer, cigarettes, etc.) – all it takes is awareness and focus. When in doubt, do things that are intense (and pay attention to the details).
3) Personal Involvement– you need to be the protagonist of your story. Watching a rugby game? Cool. Playing fly-half and leading your team to a state championship victory? The latter memory will stay with you longer – much longer. So as much (and as often) as you can – be the person doing stuff: Run from the bulls. Take the wheel. Make the introduction. Get out of the bleachers and get into the arena.
4) Recountable – memories relived are memories remembered (redundant, sure – but still true) . If you had a remarkable time doing something, make sure to actually remark to someone about it. Or at least to yourself. Preferably several times a year. Memories will stay clear and detailed the more you recollect and recount.
Want to create distinctive, vivid, personally involved, recountable events?
You guessed it – go on more adventures.
Exploring, traveling, learning, creating…all these things automatically hit all 4 elements, and what you’re left with is something you can actually remember in detail.
Photographic memory?
Okay, that’s hyperbole, but it’s pretty darn close.
Or at least the perception of it.
Extraordinary things stick in our minds longer and more clearly than merely ordinary things (see above).
The memory of mundane, comfortable, ordinary routine lumps together and fades away in time.
Novelty, on the other hand, is a jolt to the brain system – we not only remember new experiences more vividly, they also seem longer to us when we reflect on them. This is called the “Holiday Paradox” by Hammod: “the contradictory feeling that a good holiday whizzes by, yet feels long when you look back.”
It follows then that the more often we experience change (and the more dramatic the change), the longer our lives will seem.
As a personal anecdote, I remember moving a lot as I grew up. It seemed like every few years my family would move to a new location. Sure, I never had the chance to establish roots anywhere, but I think I got the better end of the bargain: a brain constantly exposed to new people, locations and things.
And because it happened every few years, I remember each location uniquely and vividly.
This is in stark contrast to many people I’ve met who’ve spent their whole lives in the same neighborhood or working the same job. Ask them about the last 5, 10, or 20 years and it’s a blur of sameness.
The question isn’t one of right or wrong, or living a good life or a bad one, or anything like that – the question here is: would you rather have vivid, positive memories throughout your life (and continue to create new, remarkable memories, or would you rather be the person who brings up his high school football highlight reel 20 years later?
So if you want to lengthen your life (or at least the perception of your life), go on more adventures.
If you want to take it one step further and not just lengthen the perception of life, but actually add years to your life, then go on physically strenuous adventures (consistently).
Not only will your life seem longer, you’ll have more years to create new, meaningful memories.
Will going on adventures make you smarter, improve your memory, and increase your lifespan?
The research suggests it will.
But it comes at a price.
There’s something I didn’t mention earlier but would be remiss not to mention at all: going on adventures, traveling, exploring, creating, learning - these things are fun, exhilarating and enlightening in their own right, but they do come at a price.
Discomfort.
Everything new is uncomfortable. It has to be by its nature.
And that’s the rub – if you want to live a life of adventure, you need to get used to discomfort.
Sounds easy enough to deal with, but how many people do you know who’ve avoided taking action, avoided trying something new, avoided starting something that might not work because the prospect of doing any of those things is, well, uncomfortable?
Probably more than you or I’d care to admit…
The silver lining: it’s never too late to start.
It’s never too late to try something new.
It’s never too late to change.
In the end, the choice – and the responsibility – is entirely yours.
Whatever you decide, I hope you make the right choice for you.
Be bold and keep creating.
(p.s. and go on more adventures)
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Creative work is hard as hell.
If you’re a writer, entrepreneur, or anyone else challenging and pushing boundaries (read: instigator), you know what I’m talking about.
In fact, creative work is probably the hardest work there is – something only those bold enough to create can appreciate.
But what makes creative work so hard?
Doing creative work means we can fail at any point.
All the hard work we do this week, this month or this year could end up being for nothing. No reward. No payout. No bonus.
In the beginning, most bootstrappers work 80 hour weeks and make sweat shop wages. To make matters worse, the majority of startups fail. And for the aspiring writer? The landscape is even bleaker...
Creative work requires us to be on point every hour of every day.
If we’re not doing our best work, if we’re not going as hard as we can, if we’re not constantly pushing the boundaries, then we’re at risk of being overshadowed by someone who’s willing to hustle harder. The fear is this: any moment we fail to capitalize on is a moment that could have been our tipping point – the thing that allows us to break out of obscurity.
Worse yet, the only thing more exhausting than putting our mind, body and soul into a project, day after day, is the anxiety we experience from the thought of wasting time or losing ground...
For most of us, creating something from scratch requires long periods of time devoted to working in solitude.
This requires a great deal of self-imposed isolation – something that inevitably becomes lonely over a period of time. This isolation is made even more painful when the few times we do interact with other people they don’t “get” what we’re doing.
The only thing lonelier than working in isolation is working beside people who don’t get what you’re doing.
Face it, if you do creative work, at some point the uncertainty, exhaustion and loneliness will make you want to quit.
I can’t tell you how many times a week (a day?) I want to throw in the towel and walk away.
This is the inner creative war we each have to fight if we want to do great work.
It’s at times like this, when things get darkest, you need to remember what's important.
The rest of the world probably won’t get why you do what you do.
But you didn't do it for them, did you?
Do the work. Do YOUR work. And do it for the happy few who want what you create.
Serve those people.
Ignore everyone else.
They're not worth a second of your time anyway.
Creative work is hard...
But here's the thing: life is hard.
Any course of action you choose in life will be hard - hard because you chose to enter the trenches, fight the creative fight, and do work that matters, or hard because you chose to avoid the trenches, insolate yourself from challenging, impactful work, and accept what life throws at you.
I'm sorry, but there's no happy medium, no painless compromise.
These are the only two options.
So what will you choose?
Call me a ruffian, but I'll choose the former.
I hope you do the same.
New to the blog? Join the Resistance and join me and an army of creative ruffians (artists, entrepreneurs and all around instigators) doing important work. Never fight along - join the Resistance.
In my previous post, I wrote about great work.
Great work is impactful work – the kind that resonates with a person (or a million people) for years to follow.
The sole criteria for determining great work is impact, and that’s specifically and uniquely determined by the person or people experiencing the work.
If you impact just one person, you’ve created great work.
So how do we impact just one person?
In my article on bootstrapping a business, my #2 tip was this: know your why.
But this isn’t a tip just for bootstrappers, it’s for everyone in life who wants to make an impact.
Why do you do what you do?
Why do you create?
Why do you sweat, bleed and suffer everyday over your work?
These are the questions we, the audience, the readers, the experiencers of your work care about. We don’t care what your product or service does until we know why you’re doing it.
“People don’t buy what you do – they buy why you do it.” [Simon Sinek]
Think about it: no one wants to be swindled.
As the consumer, the first thought we have when we encounter another person is if he or she is the real deal, if what they’re offering is legitimate and authentic.
The only way to assuage our fears is by telling us your why.
When we know your why, we’re on board.
If your why is nonexistent or superficial or doesn’t resonate with us, we move on to the next project.
And in a noisy world full of projects, moving onto something other than what’s being offered is very, very easy.
This next step is simple:
Once you know your why, live your why.
If you create art to make people happy, make your happy art every day.
If you take care of those who can’t take care of themselves, take care of them every day.
If you build products that change people’s lives, build life changing products every day.
You might be thinking this is so simple it’s not even worth mentioning.
But living your why cuts both ways...
When you live your why, you can’t cut corners anymore:
You can’t cut ingredients to increase margins.
You can’t cut out the personal interaction to scale your company.
You can’t cut effort to take on more projects at one time.
In the movie Watchmen, the upstanding, idealistic Rorschach is offered a chance to save himself but compromise his integrity in the process.
Rorschach’s response:
“Never compromise. Not even in the fact of Armageddon.” [Watchmen]
Maybe we're not superheroes and life's not a movie, but the principle applies:
If you want to do great work, if you want to make an impact, then you need to know and live your why.
And that means never compromising – not even in the face of Armageddon.
Simple…not easy.
Have you ever tried writing a book, a blog, or business copy?
If so, you’ve probably experience writers block: the inability to form your ideas into the perfect words, sentences, and paragraphs.
But this type of block isn’t exclusive to writers.
All creative entrepreneurs - from writers, designers, and inventors, to artists, marketers, and entrepreneurs, experience creative block.
Creative block is the inability to satisfactorily form into something tangible the ephemeral ideas in your mind.
Creative block can hit anyone trying to tell the perfect story, build the perfect product, or produce the perfect piece of art.
And if you’ve experienced creative block, you know what an infuriating pain it is and how quickly it can cripple your project.
You also understand one thing only the few brave enough to create understand: Creative block is real.
Creative block is one of the Enemy’s most effective creativity-destroying weapons.
If you’re not careful, the Enemy will use creative block to get you to quit your project prematurely, give up before you even start, or abandon your life’s work althogether.
Don’t give up – there is a way to fight back and overcome creative block, once and for all.
But you must be ready to go to war with yourself and your art.
If you want to conquer fear, don't sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. [Dale Carnegie]
There are ideas in your head - ideas that may be vivid, logical and clear before you sit down to write - but the moment you put pen to paper (fingers on keyboard) they vanish.
You sit down to bring these ideas to life but the ideas fade into nothing.
You stare at the screen desperately, hoping through sheer willpower you’ll be able to form your perfect idea into the perfect sentence…but it’s gone.
The worst part – throughout the day you had no problem at all coming up with great ideas.
But they all came at the most inopportune times.
These brilliant ideas come to you in their lucid entirety while driving, showering, or eating; while mindlessly folding clothes, lifting weights, or going on a long run; while in a conversation, reading a book, or listening to a presentation.
But the moment you need them – sitting in front of the blank screen - they vanish.
It seems like when you don’t need the ideas, the ideas come in waves, but when you need the ideas – when you sit down to write; when getting words on paper is the only thing that counts – the ideas disappear.
Insurmountable?
Hardly.
There are ways to overcome creative block.
It starts with identifying the reality of the situation: yes, creative block exists…
But only when we care deeply about what we create and how people will perceive it.
If you don’t care about what you write, or you’re not concerned with how it's perceived, you can write freely and unencumbered (think personal journal or email to a close friend).
For those who care about their work and about how it's perceived, overcoming creative block can be a bit trickier.
Fighting back against creative block is hard if we do it through force.
The two most common techniques are:
Both of these techniques are equally ineffective and will wreck you in different ways.
Both are tools of the Enemy.
Both will bury you.
The only way to overcome creative block is through the circumvention of disempowering thoughts, and focused discipline of good habits.
Forcing the right words never works.
When we sit in front of a computer all day, stressing and straining to get the “right” words onto the screen, we begin our descent into the self-perpetuating abyss of wasted time.
If the words don’t come out right the first hour at your computer, they sure won’t come out right by hour five.
They won’t come out right because they can’t: the words you write are never right. They’re also never wrong.
When we focus on creating the perfect sentence, the perfect flow, the perfect tone, style, or theme, we forget what’s ACTUALLY important: the message.
We forget our purpose; we forget our why; we forget the entire concept of art, which is this: art is never right or wrong.
The first and often most effective way to overcome creative block is to forget forcing the right words and begin allowing the wrong words...
People have writer's block not because they can't write, but because they despair of writing eloquently. [Anna Quindlen]
Eventually, once you allow enough of the wrong words, you’ll forget right and wrong altogether and simply create.
Waiting for inspiration is pointless and futile.
Often, when we’re burned out, tired, or simply unmotivated, we rationalize taking off days, weeks, or months so we can reset and recharge.
The thought process: if I’m well rested, if I take some days of to reset my mind, I’ll come back better and stronger. Plus, the best writing is inspired writing, so I must wait until I’m inspired before I write.
This is the Enemy at work.
The Enemy will justify why you should rest and save strength, why taking a break for an indefinite period is essential for creativity, and why avoiding writing is the surest way to clear your mind for more writing.
Lies.
The Enemy uses creative block to dismantle and destroy your project because it needs you sedated, compromised and passive.
The Enemy’s survival depends on keeping you safely hidden inside the group so as not to expose yourself through your art.
The Enemy fears you as an outlier and uses thoughts of ‘waiting for inspiration’ to cripple your dreams.
Don’t accept this for one second.
Here’s the reality: inspiration comes to those who grind, work, and create.
Inspiration comes to those who allow it to happen through movement, through action, through consistent, repeated behavior.
Inspiration comes to those who are disciplined.
I only write when I am inspired. Fortunately I am inspired at 9 o'clock every morning. [William Faulkner]
Sit down and create every day and you will find your inspiration.
When we put our words, ideas, and art out there; when we produce publicly; when we tell everyone who we are and what we’re about, we expose ourselves to the tribe.
And the tribe isn’t always on our side.
This fear of the tribe, of judgment and criticism, keeps many people from starting, finishing, and shipping their great work.
Overcoming creative block really isn’t a secret. It just means doing the work every day.
But you already knew that.
The real question is: do you have the courage to create in spite of these fears?
And that, like everything important in life, is your choice.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. [Mark Twain]
When starting a new project, you deal with a lot of obstacles.
The web design you outsourced might not function how you wanted, or the first shipment of products come in completely the wrong color or size, or your plans for a successful launch don’t pan out the way you hoped they would…
All of these are difficult to deal with.
They hurt, they're painful, and they disappoint us.
But they won’t break you.
Negative self-talk propaganda, on the other hand, just might.
Negative self-talk propaganda will use these events to make you question yourself, your project, and your resolve. Negative self-talk propaganda will try to break you were you are weakest: from the inside.
The following are 8 fears we all experience on the road to creating something worthwhile...
We’re all scared of not living up to our own expectations; we’re even more terrified by not living up to the expectations of others.
So, we rationalize: If we don’t start, we can’t fail.
The simple solution is to not begin your project and to avoid doing the difficult, creative work of building a business, brand or organization…of course, if that’s your choice, nothing happens.
The possibility of failure is a good thing – it means you’re doing something that matters, something original, something rebellious to the robot factory.
If you’re scared it might not work, good – you’re on the right track.
Worse than the idea of not succeeding is the idea of friends and strangers belittling us for what we’re trying; that because we don’t live up to expectations, we embarrass those with whom we associate (and bring shame on ourselves).
Shame is the greatest weapon of the Enemy and will break you faster than anything else.
Shame is entirely fabricated in our minds. It has no power but what we give it, no legitimacy but what we allow it.
Keep doing the work.
Let’s be honest – anyone trying something new feels like a phony. If you don’t, you’re probably doing something you already know how to do, which means you’re not creating anything new.
Feeling like a phony is a good thing; when you have these thoughts, recognize them as the compass they are – pointing you in the right direction (toward something new).
Keep going.
Creating something from scratch is painful.
It’s never easy.
Sure, there will be moments when we’re in flow and things just click – and, often, the process of creating is a lot of fun – but those are the highlights.
The pain begins when the flow ends and you’re left without inspiration or motivation, and no guarantee it will work. That’s when commitment comes in – if you’re committed, you understand this is part of the process, and you keep creating, no matter how hard it becomes.
Before you start, commit – and recommit every day to doing the important work.
This ties into the threat of shame – every person wants some form of validation and the idea of being hated unanimously terrifies us.
Of course, no one is hated unanimously; there will always be someone who loves what you do and appreciates how you do it.
The fear of being hated is entirely irrational; laugh at it when you start your work today.
Let’s face it, being ignored is more likely what will happen with your project. There are too many choices, too many options, and a limited amount of time for people to make these choices. You’re stuff, whatever it is, competes with the noise of the world.
Attention and trust takes time. So if your stuff is good, stay gritty. If it’s not good, make it great…and then get gritty.
Note: being ignored is one of the greatest assets of the “newbie.”
If you start with peoples trust and attention, you’ll be compelled to keep that trust and attention. Usually, this involves doing whatever created the trust and attention in the first place.
The result? Sameness.
But the “newbie” – he has no fear of doing what’s worked, because nothings worked yet. The “newbie” is really another name for the underdog - the insurgent. The actions of the underdog challenge the status quo; the actions of the insurgent create revolutions.
Don’t worry about being ignored – it’s more likely you'll create a revolution (if your stuff is good enough).
Creating involves some level of introversion. If what we’re doing is brilliant and personal, we need to wrestle with ideas internally. And dealing with things alone is no joke.
It’s difficult to fight a battle by yourself.
Don’t cut yourself off from external help. Don’t let the lonely abyss of creation overwhelm you. The solution is usually just a friendly talk away, or knowing others are in the trenches with you, willing to help you through your difficult times.
Talking out a problem with someone you trust is one of the surest ways to get unstuck. Use this technique freely; use it often.
And after all the pain you’ve gone through, “they” might reject you.
If you expect your next project to be the breakthrough moment – the thing that changes everything so you no longer have to face rejection - I have bad news: this never happens.
The most popular, famous, successful businesses still face rejection. Sure, once you’ve hit a tipping point of fans and support, rejection is less likely because the majority will always mimic the majority (a self-perpetuating cycle), but even great brands, bands, and people fade away if all they do is perpetuate the current cycle.
Continue to challenge everything; continue to create new things; continue to be rejected for your unique work – it means you’re doing something right (and the few who understand your work – the important people – will continue to support you).
---
When you know these 8 fears are just part of the price you pay for attempting something new, different and bold, you can overcome them.
Now that we know what we’re in for, you have two choices:
There’s no reason to start in the first place if you have no intention of finishing (and shipping). And if you don’t think you can deal with the fears above, better to be realistic in the beginning instead of wasting months (years) of time.
Anyone can do it.
Few people choose to.
And that’s entirely on you.
Never fight alone:
[yks-mailchimp-list id="0ccbfb589b"]
When I was a sophomore in college, I tried to do something I wasn’t sure I could do.
I decided to compete in the Brigade Open Boxing Tournament.
The Brigade Open is an annual event at West Point. It’s a chance for anyone to enter the ring and compete for a title belt. It’s open to all students, but the winners are almost always those on the boxing team.
So entering with very little experience and going up against legitimate national champions probably wasn’t the smartest idea.
I did it anyway.
It had nothing to do with winning - I didn't think I could - but everything to do with at least trying.
I made my commitment several months out from the first scheduled fight of the tournament and got to training.
Every night, after hours of class, drill, intramural sports and homework, I went up to the boxing room, by myself, to hit the heavy bag (like a Nike commercial, but less dramatic).
Every morning, I woke up at 5am to jump rope in sweats. It was exhausting, but the only way I stood a chance was to cut weight.
When the first fight came, I was trembling. I didn't feel ready. Even though I cut weight to be more competitive, my oponent was bigger than me. It seemed, at that moment, I had committed to nothing more than getting my face knocked in.
The bell rang and the fight started.
In the middle of the second round, the referee blew the whistle. A stoppage. The referee was concerned one of the boxers would end up seriously injured.
I won my first fight.
I was pumped.
And then I realized what winning actually entailed.
If I had lost, I could go back to my regular routine. I could have given myself a pat on the back and still walked away proud for trying. I didn't think I could win anyway.
But now, by winning my first match, I had to fight another. And by trying to do something I wasn't sure I could do - and then doing better than I expected - I raised the bar for myself.
Now "who cares if I win or lose," turned into "I might actually be able to do this."
I trained harder.
The next fight came. Once again, I went up against someone who seemed my superior. I felt weak from cutting weight and training - maybe I overtrained. Once again, my chances didn't look good.
I entered the ring, the bell rang, the fight started, and the whistle blew two minutes later. Stoppage.
I won my second fight.
Somehow, against all odds, I would be competing for the championship belt at the finals.
For the first time, I knew there was a chance I could win.
The next fight was filmed by ESPNU with Teddy Atlas and Joe Tessitore commentating (a big deal in the boxing world).
The ring stood in the middle of a giant auditorium, professional spotlights hung from the ceilings, and spectators crowded the bleachers; the bar had been raised.
My fight was moments away.
Unlike my last two opponents, this guy was the real deal; he boxed on the West Point boxing team and was a serious contender for regional and national champion.
The only advice a friend could give me: knock him out in the first round.
He knew what I didn’t want to admit to myself: I wouldn’t last three rounds with this guy.
The fight started.
First round came and went – I landed some heavy hits. No knockout.
The only strategy I had was out the window.
The fallback plan: survive.
The second round tested my resolve and the sturdiness of my face. On more than one occasion the blows should have knocked me out. Somehow, I made it to the end of the round. Bloody, but not broken.
The third round delivered even more devastation. The referee came close to calling it but I wouldn’t stop pressing. I could have hung to the outside of the ring, but I knew that would give a reason to end the fight. Even though I took a beating, I kept pressing. The bell sounded and the fight ended.
I made it to the end of the third round. I finished the fight.
I lost.
The next day, one of my teachers who watched the fight live sent me this quote in an email:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
Theodore Roosevelt
After the quote he wrote two words:
Keep Fighting.
Anytime I’m nervous, or scared, or uncertain, or worried that something I do might not work, or what I write won’t resonate, or after months and years of passionate commitment my project won’t make it and I’ll be left with nothing…
Anytime I start thinking this way, I remember to keep fighting.
Why?
Because it’s better to be in the arena and fail, than a spectator who knows neither victory nor defeat.
I kept fighting.
My tenacity earned me a spot on the boxing team.
I won my first tournament later that year.
One thing Teddy Roosevelt forgot to add: victory tastes better when you’ve known defeat.
And so I urge you, those of you starting something new, doing something important, or chasing your vision quest:
Keep fighting.
It's not always easy. But it's worth it in the end.
I talk to a lot of people - a lot of people with great ideas, great vision, and tons of untapped potential.
But they're stuck on 'start.'
Instead of trying, attempting, and building, they wait around for the perfect opportunity, the perfect connection, and the perfect launch.
News flash: perfect doesn't exist.
Is good enough.
You don't need to be perfect (you can't be), all you need is good enough.
And unless you start, you'll never be good enough.
If that's not enough of a kick in the ass, below are 4 reasons you should start - TODAY.
When you start - when you enter the ring - it stops being an idea, a thought, a dream; it becomes your work, out in the world.
No, you're probably not ready; but the sooner you take yourself and your work seriously enough to ship, the sooner you will actually be ready.
There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting. [Buddha]
It's a paradox, but most important things are.
At first, you may have to fake it. This is okay: everyone else is doing the same thing, even (especially) the more famous writers, entrepreneurs and artists.
Stop worrying about being a phony and start shipping your projects.
Note: you might still feel like a phony even after shipping your 100th project, but that's not what the rest of the world will see.
If you start and it doesn't pan out, keep going. If that doesn't pan out, pivot. If that doesn't pan out, try a different technique, tactic or strategy.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. [Thomas Edison]
There is no such thing as a single opening launch that, if not done PERFECTLY, will destroy your business, career and art.
Unless you've raised millions in venture capital, the initial start is almost insignificant.
The first version is never the FINAL version. This goes for everything; the first draft of a manuscript, the first iteration of software, or the first marketing campaign of a brick-and-mortar company.
Don't sweat the start. Just start.
Stepping into the ring (actually shipping your product; moving from hobbyist to professional) is never easy.
We think we need to be completely ready - trained up, competent, and ready to deal with any possible failure point.
But that's just it: you are ready. Whether you know it or not, you've been ready you're entire life; you just never stepped into the ring.
So step into the ring already.
Start.
It sounds simple - and it is.
Start right now; release the first version of your blog, publish your first eBook, sell your unfinished (but minimally viable) product.
The worst that can happen is it doesn't work, which means you're closer to a solution that will.
The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. [Walt Disney]
As soon as you choose to create something worthwhile, you take the first step in a long and very real journey…
Like most journeys, it's not always pretty.
Life will try to beat you down and break you if it can.
There will come a time when things are confusing, uncertain, and perilous.
And you WILL face setbacks, challenges, and failure.
Your peers might scorn you, your "tribe" ignore you, and your effort will seem in vain.
The path will be rarely straightforward, the road rarely clear, and the struggle lonely and sometimes desperate.
At times like these, it will make sense to quit.
There's nothing pretty about doing something ambitious or unorthodox.
The journey of creating something worthwhile is messy - it can't be any other way.
The journey itself must be scary, dangerous, and unreasonable - otherwise, there would be no need for courage.
The adventurer recognizes the only paths left to explore are those that are scary, dangerous and unreasonable.
The adventurer understands that the guaranteed and safe path is traveled daily by those of little courage.
But the unknown path - the one that sits beyond the threshold of certainty - is ripe for exploration and for what befalls those brave enough to travel along it.
Your journey is unique.
At times it will be painful; you will doubt yourself and your project, question your ability, and challenge every virtue you thought you possessed.
But while your journey is unique (and the struggle will, at times, seem unbearably lonely), the pain you experience is universal.
Every adventurer sets his own course and travels his own path, but the pain he experiences - the loneliness, confusion, fear and desperation - those are experienced by every adventurer who chooses the unknown path.
But the path is painful for a reason.
Every great adventure ends with an equally great reward: whether it's discovering buried treasure, winning the championship title, or finding your way back home.
The spoils go to the victor, and the victor is always the one who sticks it out to the end.
Having the guts to travel the unknown path, to create something worthwhile, takes courage, boldness and (sometimes) madness.
Like everything worth doing, it won't be easy.
But like every difficult thing worth doing, the spoils go to the adventurer and the adventurer alone.
Have you started on your journey?
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
Join The Resistance, defeat your inner creative Enemy, and create your life's work.
"I hope they like it."
"I hope it works out."
"I hope they will buy it."
The problem with hope isn't hope itself, but rather when we use the word hope as a replacement for "I wish someone else would take care of this problem for me."
When we "'hope" for things that way, we might as well throw in the towel and get out of the ring.
Here's the thing; you don't have ownership over the reaction, response, or results.
BUT...
You do have 100% responsibility over your actions.
Set a goal. Commit. Follow through.
That is what you have control over. This is what you own.
Don't hope you will do your best - DO YOUR BEST.
What happens as a result is a result and will happen how it does.
Remember, the only thing you control, the only thing you OWN, are your own actions.
Don't hope they will be great, make them great.
Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. [Goethe]
Be bold.
