We think pain and pleasure or love and hate are opposites of one another.
We think of these emotions as opposite ends of the spectrum, as if each lies on either side of a single line.
pain --------------------------------- pleasure
love --------------------------------- hate
This couldn't be further from the truth.
In either case, they are simply variations of one another; unique but related; two sides of the same coin.
But they are not opposites.
In both cases, we are experiencing some kind of emotion. Whether you experience pain or pleasure, love or hate, you are still experiencing something. So the opposite of pain isn't pleasure, nor is the opposite of pleasure pain.
The opposite of both is numbness – it is indifference – it is nothing.
When a project breaks, we might experience anger at ourselves because we failed, fear that this case isn't unique and that we might never succeed, or jealousy of others for effortlessly accomplishing that which we suffer for daily to create.
When a goal comes to fruition, we might experience joy in its realization, pride that we have accomplished so much, or gratitude that we were given such an unlikely opportunity, with such an unlikely skill set, in such an unlikely environment, to make our dreams reality.
In either case, we are experiencing the emotions of someone who cares.
If you want to experience the latter, you must be willing to experience the former; that's the price you pay when you care, when you're invested in the outcome, when you're committed. But if you'd prefer to never feel the anger, fear, or jealousy of failure – the pain of failure – then you only have one option: become indifferent.
Stop caring.
Avoid commitment.
Indulge in the emotional morphine of indifference and all the pain goes away; and so does all the pleasure, all the happiness, all the joy.
You can't have one without the other.
That's the paradox; that's the battlefield; that's the choice.
"The opposite of love's indifference." [The Lumineers]
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People complain about blue collar workers being out of work (they are), or finding a way to bring manufacturing back (you can’t), or some other way to revitalize our 20th century view of the middle-class.
Sorry, it's gone. It's not coming back.
In a crowded marketplace, fitting in is failing. In a busy marketplace, not standing out is the same as being invisible. – Seth Godin (Purple Cow)
Why would I hire someone for $10.00 an hour when I can outsource for $1.50 (and still receive comparable quality work)? When the only task I need accomplished is menial and brainless – a commodity – why would I pay a premium?
On the other hand, if that employee can move on his own, develop and execute his own plans, instigate and start projects, create and ship his own work - why wouldn't I pay a premium. Why wouldn't I pay top dollar for someone with the brains and courage to expand the brand, product or service on his own, with minimal guidance from upper management?
In the 20th century, the majority of workers made a compromise; they accepted minimal wages in exchange for brainless, consistent work. The offer was compelling – show up to a certain location, at a certain time, for a certain duration, day after day, and in exchange you don't have to think to earn a wage (and you might even get healthcare and a 401k).
The industrial age created a robot factory of average employees. The factory setting (and factory mentality) worked during the industrial age. It won’t work now.
Once again, those jobs aren't coming back (no amount of federal quantitative easing could fix that - and that only sets us up for some painful inflation down the road).
If all you offer is the commodity of your time, guess what? So do millions of people around the world.
There is no reason (for an employer OR the customer) to pay a premium for a commodity.
So what now?
Stand out, be disruptive, be someone who can connect the dots on their own and can start without guidance. The only way to thrive in the new economy is to be an instigator.
Here's the catch: We can't tell you how. If we could, we wouldn't need you.
p.s. if you like this article, you'll love my book: The Art of Instigating.